The life of a shadow angel

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 19:42:13 GMT

Quiz time.

Seven things I want to do before I die:

1. Have a loving girlfriend.

2. Produce a video game.

3. Succeed in life.

4. Protect those I hold dear with my life.

5. Travel around the world.

6. Publish my poetry.

7. Die i an honourable way.

Seven things I cannot do:

1. Ride a bike. Every time, I break something.

2. Eat insects.

3. Look intelligent in front of a girl.

4. Talk with Miyamoto and keep a straight, uninterested face.

5. Get poked without laughing.

6. Drive an Arwing... But I want to...

7. Lose at Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Seven things that I want in a mate:

1. A kind-hearted girl, one that won't be lying when she says she loves me.

2. Intelligent and cultivated, which doesn't mean she has to always agree with me, but intelligent and capable of admiting her wrongs when she sees them. I also want her to be capable of thinking on her own.

3. Has a sense of humour, doesn't mind being teased.

4. A geeky girl, they're the best. Gamer girls rule even more.

5. Shy girls are beautiful in a certain sense.

6. An open-minded girl that will force me to get out of my protective emotion shell.

7. A loyal girlfriend.

Seven things I say most often:

1. ...

2. Indeed...

3. You know, I'm here if you need help with anything.

4. You scare me...

5. Hmph...

6. Sorry about that.

7. Fear the Seraph blade!! *Slash*

Seven books or authors you love:

1. Sharpe's series "Bernard Cormwell"

2. Lord of the Rings Trilogy "J.R.R. Tolkien"

3. Harry Potter series "J.K. Rowling."

4. Full Metal alchemist manga... (GEEK!!)

5. Le conte de Monté Cristo (The count of Monté-Cristo) "Alexandre Dumas"

6. The rest, I can't decide.

7. See above.

Seven movies you watch over and over again:

1. Hayao Miyazaki films recently.

2. Random old comedy movies.

3. The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

4. The Matrix trilogy.

5. Original Star Ward trilogy.

6. Les Boys movies! (Québec comedy!)

7. Kids movies, blame the babysitting.

Seven people you want to join in too:

1. Anyone.

2. Whom.

3. Has.

4. Time.

5. To.

6. Blattantly.

7. Waste.

Bo! The chinese Wood Stick! The Bo looks not very
dangerous but ask the Shaolin monks, they would
be able to kill you in less than two hits. And
it's the best protection weapon ever, because
there is no blade and you can choose how much
you want to hurt your opponent.

What's your Weapon? .._..contains Anime pictures.._..
brought to you by Quizilla

~ Shadow Angel.

The usual.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 02:33:17 GMT

Hey journal,

I must say I am not quite happy-go-lucky at the time. You see, my mother seems to get mad at every little thing these days and I’m walking on eggshells. My mother’s always been quite stubborn, its part of her personality. If you think I can be stubborn, you should see her. I’m capable of admitting my wrongs. With her… She’s never wrong. I talked back at her, as politely as possible because she had called my brother stupid. My brother has a mental illness and in my opinion, saying such things to a mentally challenged individual is inconsiderate. My brother is a very frail person with no self-esteem and I know its not the best way to approach him whenever he breaks something by accident. So the circumstances don’t make me too happy as you can see. Apparently, I was wrong to stand up for my brother and apparently again, I’m supposed to shy away, tail between my legs like a scared dog. Yes, I’m shy, but when things get serious, I can’t just sit and watch. I think my mother’s got something on her mind, because she gets mad more often than usual. If only I could point my finger on it, things could maybe calm down a bit around here.

Apart from that, I helped two college friends with their problems this week. They talked to me and I listened. I did the same with some forum pals as well. I sure listen a lot but I got a lot of things on my mind. I think too much for my own good.

Well good news is someone is lending me some Full Metal Alchemist DVDs.

Oh, and I must apologize to someone for not coming online when she wanted to talk to me, I had stuff that kept me away. You know who you are.

~ Shadow Angel

Now playing: Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance.

...!?

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 23:05:34 GMT

Well... Today, I was in a pretty depresseded mood and when someone at the Entre'Actes asked me what was wrong, I've been rather cold and told him I didn't want to talk about it. The people there mentioned me always telling them to say how they feel but I really wasn't in the mood for chit-chat, so I left without saying anything. I sort of felt bad going off on my own like that when they seemed to be concerned so I went back and apologized. A few offered to listen but I kinda ignored the offer. I stayed quiet while poeple talked and then I got up, but pretty much zoning out in my mind. Then I felt something walking near me and some friendly girl I know hugged me from behind. I was a little touched by their sympathy. I guess they really can be considered friends now, huh?

Anyways, a friend from the forums actually called me this weekend. She was really fun to talk to :P.

~ Shadow angel.

Now playing: Tales of the World: Narikiri Dungeon 2. (JAPANESE VERSION!!)

Bored...

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 02:07:50 GMT

Stole that quiz from Haley's Livejournal.

*Life is Random...ask questions*
Ocean or Lake?	Ocean. They are large, calm and venture far enough an you can be alone in the world.
Pizza or Chinese?	Chinese, I ate so much pizza last year that I got tired of it.
Mansion or Penthouse?	Mansion. imagine the Halloween parties.
Have you been on a Jet Ski?	Nope, unfortunately
Are you afraid of clowns?	No but I don't find them particularily funny.
How many brothers/sisters do you have?	One brother.
Favorite band/group?	My tastes alter. Right now, it's either Hoobastank or Secret Garden.
Baseball or football?	I'm not a big sports fan... Baseball I guess.
Favorite brand of makeup?	I saw this lovely nail polish-- I mean I don't wear makeup.... Seriously... Stop looking at me...
Waffles or pancakes?	Pancakes with good Québécois Maple Syrup, delicious.
Do you have an IPod?	An MP3 player, yes, but not an Ipod.
Bike or scooter?	Bike, scooters are kid's motorcycles.
Ever go in a hot air balloon?	No but I would love to, romantic ride :P
How will you celebrate turning 21?	Quietly with a friend.
What brand computer do you have?	Pentium 3.
How many times have you been to DisneyWorld?	Never, I want to go!
Favorite city?	I have no preference, I adapt to wherever I go.
Ice cream or frozen yogurt?	Ice cream all the way.
Do you think you are fat?	I eat and eat but won't gain a pound.
Ever throw up in a public place?	Of course, I get sick sometimes because I overstrain myself and I got poisoned (Weak toxic substances) in school.
Do you have a pool?	Indeed, offground but when I get my own house, I'll get an inground one hopefully.
Ever drive a car?	I'm getting my driver's license this year.
How many times a month do you go to the movies?	Once every few months.
Last movie you saw?	A walk to remember, it was on TV yesterday.
Who is your hero?	I don't think I have a hero.
How old are your parents?	41 years old mother, 50 years old father.
What deceased person would you like to meet?	Probably my grandfather, my mother tells me I'm a lot like him.
Do you chew ice?	Yes, not in public however.
Have you been to California?	Not yet.
Last book you read?	Sharpe's Triumph, good but not well known series. Try the Sharpe series from bernard Cornwell.
Favorite teacher?	I had several good and several bad ones, doN,t make me choose.
Do you like to go fishing?	No, I don't want to hurt the fish.
How many of those do you regret?	I regret many things and I try to fix them.
What is you average in school?	High.
Favorite professional team?	I don't like sports much.
Do you like mohawks?	I would rather shave every hair on my body than have a mohawk...
How many pairs of shoes do you own?	Three, one neat pair for special occasions, one used pair I didn't want to throw away and my usual pair.
Do you floss?	I try to but sometimes forget.
Do you have braces?	Nope.
Do you bite your nails?	Yes, bad habit.
What is your last thought before falling asleep?	Depends on what night.
Do you fall in love easily?	It took me 16 years to fall in love for the first time.
Ever have a crush and they never knew?	Hmph... Yeah.
Do you babysit?	Sometimes, for free.
Ever been shot at?	Do knives threat count?
Do you work out/exercise?	I should.
Do you have 6 pack abs?	No but I can still be pretty tough.
Do you consider yourself nice?	That's one of my redeeming qualities.
What movie character would you like to be?	DOn't know, some random anime swordsman I guess.
Do you go to camp for the summer?	Nope.
Ever been bit by a snake?	Nope.
Have you been on a boat?	A motor boat, yep.
Name of friend you have known the longest?	Jason.
Do you like jumping on a trampoline?	Sometimes.
Ever break a bone?	Several times.
Name of favorite Aunt/Uncle?	Josée.
What is your ultimate job?	Video game producer at Nintendo.
Do you want to walk on the moon?	It would be interesting.
Can you name the seven dwarfs?	I'm a geek but even I have my limits.
Favorite TV show?	Gundam Seed.
Apples or oranges?	Oranges.
Favorite model of car?	Whatever is affordable.
Favorite flower?	Don't have a favourite.
Favorite color?	Black, white, dark gree and dark blue... Even though I'm colour blind.
Besides family, ever have someone of the opp sex in your bedroom?	Ah... No.
Ever climb out your bedroom window?	If I did, I'd fall and break my legs.
Do you live in an apartment or house?	A house.
How many times in the last month have you had the hiccups?	Once.
Ever laugh so hard milk came out your nose?	Not milk, but soft drinks mostly.
How many cousins do you have?	A good few.
Do you believe in ghosts?	Nope. Nothing supernatural.
If you were a bird, what would you be?	A falcon, graceful bird of prey.
Ever get stitches?	Nope, oddly enough.
If you could, would you want to know what your future was going to be?	I'd rather not.
How many kids do you want to have?	Its the woman's body, her descision. But please, no more than two.
If you could change your name, what would it be?	If I had too? Zack.
Dogs or cats?	I love both but I got cats home.
Who do you tell your problems to?	Jason and Haley mostly. The rest needs to ask. I have nothing to hide except my feelings.
Who can your tell your secrets to and know they wont tell?	Same as above.
Do you believe in love at first sight?	Friendships take time, love takes time.
Do you go to church?	No, unless its to accompany someone.
Would you marry outside your religon?	I'm Atheist, but I don't mind different cultures.
Volleyball or tennis?	Both, but I,m better at volleyball.
How many people were at your last party?	My last party? I don't have enoughf riends for parties.
Ever ride in a limo?	Nope.
Ever drink champagne?	I drink nothing with alcohol.
Favorite dinner?	Poutine, even though its not the healthiest thing around. Thus I don't eat a lot of it.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 02:06:10 GMT

Well last Monday, I teamed up with two girls in my communication and interaction course and we had to decided a day to meet up to discuss the project. They agreed that Thursday was the best day for them and I said that I would be available. Of course, Max is a gentleman, and a gallant one at that. I had lied pretending hat I was completely fine with it since I don’t have any courses on Thursdays. So, I went from the South Shore all the way to Montréal (A one hour and a half ride). We discussed the project and then when everything was settled, pay for the photocopies, I told them my goodbyes and oe of them asked if I had finished my courses for today. Too this, I responded “I didn’t have courses today” and my partner seemed to have appreciated the fact that I sacrificed a bit of sleep to accommodate them. I left quickly to grab the next bus and managed to come back early enough. Max is kind, way too kind. This is the way of nerds.

Okay, on a more serious notice, I’ve had no time to relax this week so excuse my short entry.

~ Shadow Angel

Now Playing: Meteos (In the bus)

Too bored to write a title.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 20:59:04 GMT

Hey, Internet journal,

Yesterday was a fun enough day.

I went to a Chinesse restaurant with Anton an Amel, two other college students after classes. I was pathetically deplorable with chopsticks but I ended up doing relatively okay after a while. I didn’t like tea to begin with but I tried it nevertheless and since it wasn’t too strong, it was tolerable, lol. The food was good as a whole but we ended up rolling dies in order to select numbers on the menu.

During my break, I watched the movie “The revenge of the nerds” and it was fun even though it was pretty outdated. Though I do agree with the title, nerd must rebel! Power to the nerds!! *Cough* Just… Forget what I said about a nerd revolution… Even though it is coming…

Anyways, I think that I’m slowly becoming my old “Don’t care about love, just care about success” older self. Good to be back.

Unskilful dancer:

Dazed by the graceful dance of your lips,
The thought of joining the dance slips,
Regrettably I am no trained dancer,
The thought of missing a step wavers.

However, it is a saddening dance,
A frantic mechanical trance,
Are you truly happy?
Or are you lying to me?

Listen to your heart when he calls to you,
He’s the only one, whom speaks true,
And no matter what you do,
Don’t let fear do the talking for you.

I would seize your hand,
Dance with you and try to understand,
I’m aware I don’t know how to dance,
But please give me this one chance.

Follow me to the dancing floor,
We will waltz to your favourite score,
And I will hold you when you are worn out.
You can rest safely in my arms, without a doubt.

Listen to your heart when he calls to you,
He’s the only one, whom speaks true,
And no matter what you do,
Don’t let fear do the talking for you.

If you teach me your dance
I will teach you my romance
Is this not a fair trade?
There is no need to be afraid.

~ Shadow Angel

Now Playing: Shining Force: Ressurection Of The Dark Dragon.

Har...

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 15:25:58 GMT

I don’t get it…

I was starting to think that Grace was a lost cause, but then she emails me out of the blue to ask how I’m doing. Women are quite intricate…

Anyways, nothing new, work, work, work… I’m bored but thought I’d update.

Anyways, I don’t have much to say.

How did you die in your past life?

You were killed during a mission or while trying to
protect someone and you died with honor. you
never regretted what you did and you are a very
brave and strong individual. You know what is
right and you are willing to stand up for it.
Even if it means death.

What Power is Compatible With You?

~*~Result nr 1~*~

Your power is: Clairvoyance

Explanation: Your power is that you can
look into the future and see what is coming.
How far and long you can look is all depending
on your skill level. This can, as all powers,
be used in both evil and good. Even if it may
seem like a boring ability it is a huge
responsibility for the carrier, becase they are
constantly tempted with doing the wrongs deeds
(e.g. cheat on a test). It takes high morals to
not be brought down with it.

Therefor you fit with this power quite well.
You take responsibility and do what is the
right thing to do. This does not make you a
saint, since you're only human after all. But
it makes a trustworthy person and you are loyal
to camrades and/or team mates. In school you
were probably a good student. If you were
social varies from person to person, but most
clairvoyant people tend to prefer their own
company or that of close friends and family.
That is because you are wise and knows how to
treasure the reliable in your life, since you
know popularity can be a false element. You are
also not that big on taking risks and prefer
what is already explored. That is because you
don't like suprises, they can turn out bad and
then you won't be in control.
Negative aspects: Since you're always
doing the right thing and being trustworthy all
the time you can become frustrated. Also, all
that you carry on your shoulders may stress you
out. You need to relax to be in good mental
shape.

What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results]
brought to you by Quizilla

The Warrior That You Are

You are a Samurai

The ancient Samurai is world renound and has been reveared through out history. The true esence of the Samurai is in aiding and fighting for the good of others as well as themselves. It was custom for the training of the ancient Samurai to begin their training early in their childhood and to be trained to be true masters of every aspect of life of the people they protect. This ment that the training of these warriors included cooking, gardening, carpentry, weaving, and much more in addition to combat and the honorable code of the Samurai.

Any that follow the path of a Samurai, regardless of their training, are warriors of the people. This does not eliminate actions for personal gain, that is the path of a martyr, but it simply means to help those that you can, when you can, however you can. That is the true path for the samurai warrior.

~ Shadow Angel

Now playing: Shining Force.

Hero of Courage: Book one underway.

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 17:53:27 GMT

Hello, Internet journal,

Well recently, I began working on my game's rough draft. I decided to begin the game with a secondary character and add a new feature. The main character's power can converse with the main character. The will be a mutual need of protection. Seraph, the power, will lend her power to the main character, in exchange, his body serves as a host and he must do his best to prevent the power from being taken away and misused. It's hard toe xplain in very few details.

Apart from that, I've been a little sick, but I had no time to waste on something so mundane. I needed to prepare for college. I got to go now, over and out.

~ Shadow angel

Now playing: Maple Story (I have time to waste)

Guess I'm getting better.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 18:41:05 GMT

Lately, I've been pretty occupied. When I feel bad, I tend to work my mind as much as possible, to forget. I've been working on changes on the Tales forums, beat a 20 hours game long in one day and a half called Riviera: The promised land (Ledah is cool!), been hooked to animes, especially Gundam Seed and only recently started sleeping better. You can guess I've been pretty tired lately.

Also, I apologize for anyone I might have been cold to... I might still be like this for a while, but please understand. I never mean any harm, I'm just a bit socialy inept.

Anyhow, all I do is work, work and work, because whenever I stop, I risk letting my guard down. I hate being vulnerable.

Anyways, on brighter news, Jason wants me to go with him to a trip to Ireland. My extensive knowledge of English might help him quite a bit and it will give me something to do. Besides, I'll be in good company. It will be in a few years, hopefully three.

Now I'm going back to work my mind elsewhere, no time for feelings, they get in the way, don't need them.

~ Shadow angel.

Now Playing: None, just beat Riviera: The promised Land.

Haven't updated in a while.

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 12:26:42 GMT

My apologies for not updating in so long, I needed time for myself, time away from everything that reminded me of my failure.

Weeks ago, I asked Grace if we could hang out some day in an attempt to become more friendly with her and she seemed to think it would be fine. It took her quite a bit of time to answer back and she said that she didn't think we could hang out this summer. I think that the message is clear. I'm familliar with this sort of rejection. She probably thought I was some sort of loser and wanted to put her refusal as nicely as possible so she waited at the last minute and blamed it on time. That's what my personnal experience tells me.

I refused to let myself shed any tears over that, but my pillow sure took an awful beating. Inside, I wanted to burst into tears but I've got to be strong and go on with life. I can't let a single girl's rejection destroy me, even if heart-broken.

Oh yeah, I also continued roleplaying for a bit even if I wasn't really in the mood. The other players shouldn't have to wait for my recovery, that would prevent them from continuing the adventure.

I guess I haven't been myself lately. These days, I can appear quite cold-hearted, so excuse me if I say anything wrong.

You made me:

You made me smile,
When you deigned look at me,
Your grin full of empathy,
Set my heart beguile.

You made me nervous,
When I heard this mermaid’s chant,
I would heave, I would pant,
My mind being ambiguous.

You made me laugh,
When you were acting silly,
If I had know you were so chilly,
I would not have swooned on your behalf.

You made me glower,
When you brushed me off,
My dark mind would scoff,
I couldn’t feel and lower.

You made me hope,
When I lived in my illusions,
You gave me fear at profusion,
But now I’m here, I mope.

You made me cry,
When I learned I was nothing to you,
Don’t worry, that was déjà vu,
It was pointless to try.

Shadow angel.

Blunder, blunder and more blunder

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 21:57:33 GMT

Dear Journal,

You know, sometimes, I wonder if I’m really not as smart as most people think I am. You see, today, I seriously blundered. I saw Grace on MSN and I thought I could say hi and ask how she was doing. Though I had completely forgotten to change my signature with where I expressed a sort of depressed mood. When she answered, I was away doing something and when I came back to read it, she said: ¨You really don’t value your life, do you?¨. I feel pretty dumb for this since no one likes depressed individuals. It’s always been like this and always will be. You know, I’ll never get to be her boyfriend, no matter what I do. I know that for a fact and the thought even haunts me when I sleep. I thought I’d at least make it to good friends, which would have been victory enough. Of course, it would hurt if she said no, but what has to be done must be done. I might be shy to an extreme, but I’m not like some crazy fanboy.

I have nothing to lose but fool’s hope, that is, if I really am a fool. Anything can happen people say, we’ll see about that. When you blunder, you just try again.

She’s pretty difficult to get close to, I try and I try but get no results, there are two possibilities:

1. She is intimidated by me for some reason.
2. She likes me and is scared.
3. She is not interested.

I think it is the later as I cast the second option away and the third seems more accurate. I’d make further assumptions, but inside, I don’t want to know. Not until I’m ready to accept failure. Everyone fails sometimes, I know that, but I’m a well-known lout when it comes to girls. I can understand them, treat them like a true gentleman would… In theory. In reality, I always mess up because I’m so awkward. Anyways, enough ranting, I won’t get anywhere this way.

Oh yeah, and I spent the weekend playing the lumberjack with Jason. I helped him clean and carry large wood trunks at his chalet. It was fun, his grand parents were very nice and we worked really hard. I learned to drive a manual 4 X 4 fairly easily and for once, I did not get lost, lol. Anyhow, I’m short in time, so I will conclude here.

~ Shadow angel

Now playing: Fire Emblem 8: The sacred Stones / Final Fantasy 7 (Jason lent me his PS2)

Same old, same old.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 01:52:42 GMT

Hey journal, you whom isn’t actually a real person,

Well today was an okay day, even though I had boring courses. During my break, I’ve been talking to a bunch of weird but nice people from my college. Buck (Fred) whom walks around with a pirate tri-corn and a mantle, Max 3, the poke-master, Olivier, the guy who wear T-shirt colours depending on his mood, Renaud, the Linux lover who actually wants to become programmer for my game, Amel, the girl who thinks I’m weird but wishes to become one of my game’s voice actors, etc… We had nearly intelligent talks, and for the rest of the time, we just fooled around like a bunch of idiots.

Then I stayed late to prepare a Spanish oral presentation and when I came back I met Amel on my way and we walked to the metro together. We talked on the whole way then after we finished making fun of each other (Playfully of course), we bid each other farewell until tomorrow. Then my dad arrived and picked me up in the car (Red Grand Am 94 :P).

Anyhow, for Grace news, there isn’t much, I just asked her look at one of my poems in French for when she had time since I needed a quick enough proof-reader for an event.

Apart from that Jason, my best friend, is coming back next week, so it will be time to party! XD. (Actualy, I won’t party, exams first).

Oh yeah, and I pulled five all-nighters, staying awake for so long is bad for your health...

- Shadow angel.

Now Playing: Maple Story.

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 19:31:27 GMT

Well yesterday was a nice day, I saw Renaud at college, this crazy Linux computer geek, came along to out little crashing place after several days of absence. Okay, I’m kidding, he’s not crazy. Actually, he’s a very great guy and I hold him in high respect beause we tend to be similar on certain things.

We were discussing and someone came by and told me that it was unlike me to act so serious. Then he responded for me by saying that I wasn’t being myself when I wasn’t serious. There was the social Max and the real Max. I confirmed that by saying that when I am in a group, I am rather nervous and tend to fool around even when I don’t feel like it, but people who really know me can see that I am able to talk calmly and think before acting. It was sort of nice to see that someone understood the way I was behaving, though it was no real wonder since he does act similarly in that nature.

Then I had my BESM game with Olivier as the DM and Pete, Jean-Sé and Sophie as other players. Of course, I was still using my Norton character that is plagued by an exaggerated shyness toward girls. I think that I beat a record for the worse dice rolls in history, lol. On a more amusing notice, I also witnessed the most incompetent guards ever. They couldn’t even see a big heavily armed cyborg that was standing right in front of them and Jean Sé managed to beat them in a five on one, lol. As for me, my character was thrown out of two buildings for drooling over two girls, lol. My hacker was useless this day.

Now on to the bad news… I heard that my neighbour was raped by a no good bastard. I’m actively searching for different services she can use to gain all of the necessary support she needs. Okay, I’m not on good terms with her brother who used to be a friend of mine, but her brother’s business doesn’t concern me. Anyhow, that cursed idiot might have just made the rest of her life miserable and I hope he rots in jail.

- Shadow angel

Now playing: No time for that! EXAMS!!!

Love project: Grace (Underway)

Fri, 27 May 2005 02:44:24 GMT

Hey journal!

I know, it’s been a long time, but homework is the most important thing these days, especially since I’ve been neglecting them.

Well, I finally sent my birthday gift to Grace. It was a collection tiger plushie with a note with a silly joke saying that this poor kitty had no home to go back too and that I knew that she would be able to take good care of it.

With it, there was an invitation to go to the movie theatre with me and watch any movie of her choice (Which of course, I will be paying for).

Then last but not least, there was a little card inside with a few drawings I made myself to the best of my ability. In fact, I actually spent a few days practicing using manga-drawing lessons sites to try and get the best results possible. The cover page was a drawing of me giving Grace a piggyback ride and the second one was a wandering swordsman, mostly to fill the blank, but also because I know she likes drawing. Also, I wrote a little speech:

"Dearest Grace,

Today, you have finally crossed the bridge that leads from your teenage years toward adulthood. As we slowly begin to cross it, we are hesitant, wonder if it would be more satisfying to remain a teenager forever. The fear of responsibility and autonomy enshrouds us and we wonder if we will make it through. This bridge seems to be extending endlessly toward the remote horizon and you tend to subconsciously believe that you will remain a teenager forever. Yes, this walk on the distant bridge of adulthood seems rather scary, but once your journey is over, you will not want to go back.

You just became a full-fledged adult and I personally am very proud of the wonderful person you have become. You are a grand woman despite your quite modest physical size. You have the potential to achieve great feats, which I hope to witness with my very eyes.

¨Grace¨ can mean several things, one of them is ¨a disposition to kindness and compassion; benign good will¨ and another is ¨ a sense of propriety and consideration for others¨. With such descriptions, I would say that your name fits you well. Personally, my favourite definition of ¨Grace¨ is ¨The short kind-hearted girl I met in high school

Have a joyous birthday,

- Max, weird forever.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter"

And of course, I could never let her go away without poking fun at her name and her small size. Though I don’t remember the exact wording of the joke unfortunately.

Anyhow, I sent the gift via mail and bribed the postman to give it to her on her exact birth date. Weird enough, she got it one day in advance, but hey, on the bright side, she got mine first, heh heh. Anyhow, when I logged on MSN yesterday, I saw her on and he signature said: ¨THANKS SO MUCH MAX!!!!!! I LOVE IT!! ^^ !!!! xoxo¨

That was definitely a good sign and gave me a good burst of confidence to begin with.

Then, with her hyperactive crazy talk, she said: ¨THANKS SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH FOR THE STUFFED ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!! lol¨ And believe it or not, there were three heart signs just before the lol. Now THAT was some blushing material. She told me that she was really surprised when she got it and that it really brightened her day.

Loyal to my habit of trying to be as virtuous as possible, but actually looking like a shy weirdo, I responded that there was no problem and that I was just happy that she liked it. The she told me that I didn’t have to do the movie thing because it was far too much and that the stuffed animal was perfect enough. However I responded that birthdays were not just about gifts but also spending a good time and that I didn’t mind paying for both of us, it would be my pleasure. And truthfully, it would really render me happy if she accepted.

Anyhow, after that, she disappeared like she sometimes do when she’s doing billions of stuff at the same time and I couldn’t get her answer ont hat. I hope that the next time, I can convince her for the movie. Well, I’m just glad I made her feel happy for a moment, that’s what I wanted all along.

By the way, today at college, I got into two humiliating situations. First of all, I’m talking to my French partner in the mechanical stairs and my shirt gets stuck in the rail and I get dragged upwards when I should be going down.

The second one was that I was working in teams with some girl in muscular training and Max 3 (A guy I know) said, loud enough for her to hear: ¨Hey, looks like you’re in seduction mode!¨. I am loyal to Grace, but still, it made me flinch. I think that I would have punched his shoulder if I weren’t occupied lifting a barbell.

Anyhow, that’s all for the massive update, later!

- Shadow angel.

Now Playing: No time for games!!! (Wasn’t E3 a bit lacking this year?)

Update: Too tired to think of an appropriate title.

Fri, 13 May 2005 01:06:39 GMT

Dear journal,

Grace seems okay; I talked to her yesterday night before going to sleep and I did not hide my worry. She might think that I might be annoying, always trying to look out for her, but I did not want to take any risks, not matter how little the risk. Call me oversensitive, but that is how I am. The guy with a stone hard appearance, but inside, has a heart of gold. I am Mr. Worrywart and always have been. I hope she does not think ill of my overprotective attitude, my intention were good in my opinion.

Oh and I’ve been playing BESM these days (A role playing game), using a nerd-like character who is terrified of girls, here are the stats.

Name: Norton Mcafee.
Nickname: Falcon.
Age: 19.
Gender: Male.
Weight: 130 lb.

B = 5 M = 8 S = 5

HP: 60
EP: 60
AV: 6
DV: 4
Perception: 10

Dynamic sorcery 2 (Limited to Matrix): (5)
Heightened Awareness: (1)
Cyborg Body 1/4: (1)
Human-machine interface: 2
Damn healthy!: (1)
Highly skilled: (3)
Girl Shyness: (-1)
Attack restriction 2 (Girls): (-2)
Nemesis (Female hacker): (-1)

Skills:
Computer 2 (Intrusion / Security): (8)
Demolition 2 (Artificial structure) (4)
Medical 2 (Surgery): (6)
Gun combat 2 (Pistol): (10)
Forgery 1 (Electronic documents): (2)
Ranged defense 2 (On foot): (10)

Those in the negatives are flaws, taking flaws allows you to spend one more character point on a good stat. However, the DM will use this flaw against you. Basicaly, my character has a lot of flaws against girls, thus, if he was to be attacked by a group of bikini ninjas, his chances of survival would be slim. Anyhow, got to go. Here is a poem:

Temporary confinement:

Why have I imprisoned you away?
You whom always breaks free
Always comes back to me
It is simple dismay

It is not that I do not care about you, I do
Built of hate, broken by love
I cannot let you back in such state
What I am scared of?

I fear causing you further chastisement
You are much too sensitive
Which is why I keep you captive
It is to avoid your detriment

Once I take care of everything
We will once again merge
And you my feelings may finally emerge
Once there remains no dark badgering

- Shadow angel

Now playing: I’m reading right now! Read Bernard Cormwell’s Sharpe series!

Grace... Take care of yourself, please...

Wed, 11 May 2005 22:21:35 GMT

Journal…

Okay, I’m obviously not in a good mood today. I mean, it started out okay, with my psychology exam going well, getting a haircut (It was awfully long), and going off to the store to find a present for Grace’s birthday. Okay, I did not find what I was after but I found other possible ideas.

However, I come back home, do my insane amount of work and what do I see? Her MSN username says ¨.no Grace. no bad luck. no problems. *toast to death*. Toast to death? I don’t think I like the looks of this…

It is decided, I left her a message and I hope she will respond to me. If not, I will call to her house and see what is going on. I am not letting her harm herself, never. Not as long as I can do something about it. She is too precious to me and if she was to die… I don’t know what I would do but it would truly break my heart and I don’t think that I could never recover from it. I want her alive and happy…

Anyways, I know she has her little problems, but I care too much to just ignore such thing. GAAAAH!!! It is frustrating that I am unable to make her happy as much as I want to. I would give anything just to see that smile I saw in her face once in a blue moon, that true, shy, charming smile.

Fine, All I am doing right now is ranting like some common miser so I will stop at once. More news later…

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: No time for games…

19 days for Grace's birtday and counting.

Sat, 07 May 2005 14:37:24 GMT

Dear journal…

School stinks these days and I don’t know if I will ever be able to catch up… I’ve been too lazy and I have the most zealous teachers I have ever seen. No offesne, but I am much more advanced in my intellectual development than my French teacher whom is still in the fourth stage of the Kohlberg moral development chart. This stage prevents objectivity and is all about plying strict rules without ever questioning them. I would be in stage six, the final stage where you are able to place priorities and question rules if something more important is at stake. Basically, I am more morally mature than most of my teachers and I hate that.

Anyhow, on the Grace department, I talked to her yesterday and she seemed awfully nervous since she had a Chiness school signing performance to do. I tried cheering her up a little but I don’t think I was able to do much unfortunately. I understand her stress since I would freeze in her place. I also learned that she placed second in Chinesse School, which I think is a nice feat. However, she is scared that she will not be able to make it to medical school. I wonder how much I can do to help, but hey, I will support her whatever she does. And I joked around telling her that as long as I was around, French was the least of her worries because I would help her as best as I could! Hey, maybe I can give her private courses this summer or something… Sorry for wandering off in my romantic fantasies.

Anyways, Her birthday is coming up soon and I couldn’t be more nervous even if the moon was about to crash on earth. I am trying to get her a present that would make her happy and still not know that I love her yet. I am a slowpoke at relationships but it is because I really want to do this right. I thought of a book and got several suggestions at the forums. Perhaps a sketch book and add in a plush animal. Tara thought of two movie tickets for Sin city, but I’m not sure yet. I mean she will probably prefer going with a long-term friend rather than with random geek-guy here. Many tell me I should just go straight up to her and tell her how I feel but I can’t, not now. I want to spend some time with her first. This is driving me nuts I say, NUTS! Inside, I was shaking in my boots when I was chatting with her!

Oh yeah, and my best friend Jason had been playing around with windows media player and managed to make a Legend of Zelda movie in French, lol. He will be coming back this summer so I am quite pleased about that. I was thinking of going off camping with him since he is such a nature and environment lover, lol. Jason sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G the tree! Okay, sorry, that was a terrible joke.

Anyhow, I feel like an insane weirdo who can’t think straight. I want to scream ¨Why me!?¨ but I am aware that there are other geeks in my situation. Any girls whom reads this, date geeks!

- Shadow angel.

- Now playing: Too much homework!!

Manga artist?

Sun, 01 May 2005 03:48:44 GMT

Dear journal,

I have been working on making a present for Grace since her birthday will be coming in a bit less than a month. Surprisingly, I made her a manga skit to go along with her card! However, I am still lacking ideas for a present and time is getting short. I never really had to buy a present to a girl since I scare them like the pest, so I really have no idea what to do. If I really can’t find anything, I will hand her a bit of money. I knew she used to like drawing and meant to buy her a sketchbook and a set of drawing pencils, but she recently told me she lost a bit of interest in drawing. I am hoping it is temporary as she has amazing skills that should not be wasted. Okay, she thinks she doesn’t have much skill, but truthfully, compared to her, my drawings are worth nothing but stick figures. SO now, the mystery of the present is haunting the depths of my mind.

I also have been playing a role playing game on paper called BESM. I am playing a computer geek who hacks into whatever systems possible. This gives me something to do considering that I have little to no social life.

I’ve also been playing Metroid Prime 2: Echoes a bit, but I’m seriously advancing slowly. I have no motivation to play for long these days and often close the game before I make it to a save station.

Now I passed this test to find what my brain gender was, lol.

http://www.blogthings.com/genderbrainquiz/

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What am I? The equivalent of a female tomboy? Lol! I'm a guy I tell you!

And here, pass this test!

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes.

Corrections once again

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 02:11:20 GMT

Dear journal,

Tonight, I just helped Grace with her French essay. She was on the topic of creationism so I tried adding a bit more information as well as correcting her grammar. Once again, I think I’ve made an outstanding job. I am very proud of myself and I am eager to learn what marks she will end up with.

I was really happy to help her, even though I seriously had no time to do that. Ah well, love is about sacrifices; I’ll find a way to catch up with my personal work like I always do. Grace is important to me and I will do anything in my power to make her happy.

Now I should already be asleep, more updates later.

A new poem:

A man loves a girl:

When a man loves a girl
His eyes shine like coloured pearls
They widen and sparkle
Mimicking the stars above
Tears of joy sprinkle
All he sees is love.

Love renders blind
For he becomes too kind
The woman may use him
He answers to her every whim
A single gaze can tame
Setting his heart aflame

Playing with fire is dangerous
Her voice sounds mellifluous
Be it bliss or curse
She holds his mind within her purse
It is all up to her
She holds the power

She can make him miserable
Until he becomes weak and feeble
But no one can put her down
For her he would drown
She can do no wrong
Never whom his heart belongs

He would trade the universe
Anything, he could traverse
As long as she lives happily
He could care less about his safety
His cheeks bashfully bloom
Could never imagine impending doom

Whenever you chat with me
I stutters and laughs embarrassedly
You are unaware of the verity
My lovely, lovely baby, please don’t hurt me.

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (I seriously have not time to play games these days).

Mission accomplished!

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 00:50:28 GMT

If you read my earlier chapters, you should know that I have corrected Grace’s French oral presentation. Well in fact, I worked so hard on it that I corrected my very own corrections and even gave her some tips using French rules of all sorts followed by examples.

Anyhow, recently, she talked to me again and told me that she had gotten 100% in her oral presentation and thanked me for it J

Mission accomplished.

Apart from that, I’ve had a few more suicidal cases than usual and a few absolutely wanted to deal with it online, which is much harder than face to face interviews as I cannot read people’s body language via a computer monitor.

Also, my best friend, Jason, told me that he was coming back this summer so I was thinking of going off camping with him some time this summer since he’s such a crazed-ecologist, lol. I could even bring Grace along, I would be less scared with a friend around to draw some attention away from me, lol!

Apart from that, I have to catch up on a LOT of exams and I’m BEAT! I need to rest…

- Shadow angel

Now playing: Nothing.

Darn it!!!!

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 03:00:12 GMT

Hey journal…

I’ve been switching from good to bad mood, then going back to a good mood and vice versa. I was happy at first because I got a reference from Tara Samuels, marketing manager at Namco Hometek for a summer job since I worked on her forums as a moderator. Things started out okay but then I got a lot exams coming up and I started getting overworked. Then, I tried getting everything done as quickly as possible and managed to do it pretty well so I went back to a good mood.

And now today, I tried talking to Grace on MSN. I say ¨Hi¨, she asks me how I’m doing and right after, she says she’s sorry and has to go. And before I can say goodbye, she’s off. She probably had some urgent things to do but I sort of felt disappointed. Love is a sweet tyranny I say…

I then started thinking about her and I could not help feeling depressed over her nearly never talking to me. I wondered if I was any important to her, if it mattered to her if I existed or not. Who was I kidding? She would be much happier without a guy like me to burden her. I have too many dark thoughts to be able to retain someone in a state of happiness.

I don’t know how I am supposed to act… If I show my feelings, they hurt and if I don’t, they hurt just as much… Darn it!!! I’m tired of living like this! I want to be love in spite of my many flaws. The thing is that even though I really wish to be loved, I’m not desperate enough to date just anybody. I’m still sane, but hurt right now.

*Deleted*

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: Nothing.

Do the job right

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 02:28:15 GMT

Hey again, electronic journal,

Well Grace had been feverish two days ago and I have grown a bit worried about her. When she came back online, I asked her how she was feeling and she seemed to be doing well. However, after a very short while, she went back to homework. She has lots of work to do so I must respect that. Her future is more important than my silly feelings.

My best friend, Jason seems in a rather bad mood these day, I have never seen him so stressed before. If must be the fact that he has been away for so long and that his roommate is a crazy female nutcase (She goes around messing up with his computer while Jason is supposed to be doing homework and even talks to his friends for the sole purpose of annoying them).

Apart from this, I am preparing for a summer job application for tomorrow at a video game store, wish me luck!

- Shadow angel

Now playing: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (Taking my time, 10 minutes a day, lol)

Slack off...

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 16:54:43 GMT

Well I talked to Grace again and she seemed rather sick so I made her promise to try and rest for a bit, sounding a bit like a mother looking after her child. I just hope her fever comes down soon.

Also, my best friend Jason called for a bit yesterday and I have been teasing him to near death as his roommates are making his life a living hell, lol. Poor guy, lol! Well that was revenge for teasing me about Grace earlier, hah! :P

Apart from that, I have been trying to catch up with my lost time on the TOS forums. I haven’t been taking care of it as well as I should have due to my surgery and I’m quite behind the times. I decided to start a poetry contest I called ¨Poets idol¨, sort of making fun of Canadian and American Idol. I’ve also though of including a new section to our forum, with the approbation of the others. Anyhow, I feel a bit guilty for slacking off for so long, even though I haven’t had much of a choice in the matter, and I hope that I can help out more.

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes.

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 22:23:37 GMT

Hi again, journal.

This entry is for March 29th:

Well, the last two days, I always made sure to leave a message to Grace to check if she was fine. I was worried about her and wanted a bit of news. When she told me that things had gotten worse and talked about funerals, I figured that her grandmother was, well… Gone. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, but she did not feel like discussing the matter so I did not insist.

I really wanted to help, but there is not much I could do but offer my help. It is her decision to either take my helping hand or to push it away. I stayed online longer so that she could see that I am online if she needs someone to talk to, though I would rather prefer phone. It is a more direct approach. But still, if she saw my name active on her MSN, perhaps it would make her take the initiative of coming to talk to me. Who knows?

Many people tell me to make a move right now while she is in a weakened state, but I refuse to do this. I will never take advantage of her and I couldn’t hide a grin of disgust to these disrespectful comments. She acts as though nothing is bothering her but I can see through that barrier with ease. I know that she is affected by the recent events and I want to help her. How can I help her? Simply by being there for her as a wise and understanding friend. I tried not to let my feelings get in the way since what matters to me is to think rationally for the sake of her well-being.

Yesterday night, she asked me if I could help her with her French oral. I accepted and proceeded in reading it all. I spent the next morning correcting her homework to the very best of my ability. It was so tidy and organised with constructive notes that I was very proud of myself. Since this is English Canadian level French this wasn’t much of a challenge for me. Anyhow, I’ve helped reduce her repetitions by using more sophisticated words EX: ¨Film¨ replaced by ¨Oeuvre cinématographique¨. I also put some more sense in some of her sentences as well as took the time to explain her mistakes in the notes. However, it was pretty good considering her English Canadian origins and the difficulty of the French language.

This brought me back souvenirs of when I would correct some of her work in French class in high school. She once told me that she was certain would have probably failed if I hadn’t been around. I blushed at the moment and scratched the back of my head, trying my best to keep my cool. I was happy to hear that she did have some gratitude for me, but I also kept in mind that I had gratitude for her, just for having been nice to me when nearly everyone treated me like trash. Anyhow, I sent her speech with my corrections and I am waiting for her feedback. I worked especially hard on this one so I am hoping that she will like my corrections. (I even did some research to clarify a few of her arguments just to make sure that I had gotten the meaning right).

Apart from that, I am going to try sending a summer job application to a video game store called ¨Game Over¨ this Sunday. I am trying to put more experience in my CV for the future. I am well-acquainted with the store owner and a good client, so this could play in my favour.

Now today, I went outside for a walk and the temperature was great! Sunny, yet fresh. Very rejuvenating indeed.

Anyhow, this is all for today. Check my latest song poem inspired from a song I have just discovered:

Geek gets the girl:

On another school day
The nerd found his heart’s prey
This time he will not give in
He’s tired of holding it all within

He walked up to the girl
The room seemed to twirl
His hands stuffed in his pockets
Thinking of lines worthy of poets

Today, today, he will dismiss his fright
Even dark loners can get some light
Tired of his losing streak
A freak will rise and speak
For a perfect world
Where the geek gets the girl

When he gets to the fair lady
The geek gets edgy and sweaty
In a clear state of disarray
He doesn’t remember what to say

The nerd tried to verbalize
But anxiety kept him paralysed
As he did not know what to do
He quickly babbled ¨I love you¨

Today, today, he will dismiss his fright
Even dark loners can get some light
Tired of his losing streak
A freak will rise and speak
For a perfect world
Where the geek gets the girl

The nerd finally spilled the word
Feeling as his attempt was absurd
The girl had remained quiescent
He wanted to run before she could comment

The geek avoids her gaze and blushes
When she stroke his hand he flushes
The girl smiled at the shaking geek
And placed a soft kiss on his cheek

Today, today, he dismissed his fright
Even dark loners can get some light
Tired of his losing streak
A freak decided to speak
For a perfect world
Where the geek gets the girl

- Shadow angel.

Now playing: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

Hospital stress

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 19:09:01 GMT

Hey journal,

Today is a pretty bad day indeed. I was sort of tired yesterday and I planned on going to sleep early for a change. However, as I looked at my MSN list, it stated that Grace was at the hospital. I didn’t know what was going on and I was pretty worried. What if something had happened to her?

I tried thinking rationally and came to the conclusion that if she took the time to state that she was at the hospital, it couldn’t be too bad. Sill, I needed to be sure so I sent her a message telling her that I was worried and would like to know why she was at the hospital when she would return (Unless of course if she was not feeling well enough to chat, then I would have called her the next day). I waited for some time and didn’t dare go to sleep, just in case she would answer soon. So I spent some time trying to kill time by playing the Japanese Game Boy Advance game, Fire Emblem: The Sealed Sword.

After a while, I received an MSN message and was relieved to hear that she was okay. However, I was saddened to hear that her paralysed grandmother has almost chocked to death. Gladly enough, she was saved. We talked about it for a while and I learned that we have something in common, which I wish we didn’t. We never had a very good relationship with our grandmothers. Grace’s grandmother was paralysed and even though they never were really close, she still feels bad for her. She started saying something about being over-sensitive, but I told her that sensitivity was a quality. She asked me how that was a quality and I told her that it only showed that she was a kind person.

For some reason, she felt stupid for caring about someone who didn’t care about her and I told her that I knew many stupid individuals and she was not part of them. She said something like ¨I have to learn to stop putting myself down one day don't I?¨. I told her that she really should stop putting herself down and that she was a gloe of sunshine in many people’s lives. She told me that I may bee exaggerating, but I told her that perhaps I was in her perception, but not in mine. She told me that she didn’t she how so I asked her if she wanted an example. She told me that I should so I came up with this: ¨ You once told me that your friends often come to you for advice and just trying to aid them is very generous of you. I'm sure that your family loves you as well. And I remember in school, you were so nice. Nearly no one would ever talk to me without saying words such as ¨loser¨ and ¨idiot¨ and you didn't do that. That is why you and Karine (A friend of hers, she is very nice too) scarred me at first, lol! You were TOO nice¨.

She laughed and told me she did call me an idiot before, but I told her I didn’t mind because I knew that it was just a good-hearted tease and admitted to being a weirdo.

Anyhow, she started joking around and I joined in the jest. It was rather amusing and I hoped that I could cheer her up by making her laugh a bit, so we shared tales of our clumsiness. As she did, I told her that my dad had been peeking over my shoulder and was rambling about our future children. She laughed, saying ¨LMAO!!!!!!¨ And I laughed as well out loud.

Grace was joking telling me that if my dad said that about every girls, I must have tons of girlfriends by now. I responded that I lost count of how many kids I’m supposed to have, lol.

Then, I decided to continue making her laugh by telling her a bit more about my father’s evil ways. After I had finished plotting my revenge, I told her about an event that happened while I was five years old. You see, when I was five, I really didn't like girls much so I told my father that the day I would get a girlfriend was the day I would sit in the cat's litter box. Now, I'm 18 and he still remembers and intends to insure that I do it. She told me that she had to see it and I laughed saying that it was probably never going to happen anyways. She told me that I’ll get a girlfriend eventually, so, it will happen and this will be her first introduction to my craziness. I asked her if she wanted front row tickets and she said ¨YES!!!!¨. I told her that I’m sure that she would be laughing like crazy, especially since my dad wanted to invite the whole neighbourhood for this special occasion. She responded ¨You bet’cha!¨. I promised her that I would give her a call when that was going to happen.

Then, I mentioned her updating her pictures on her bebo account and how she looked a whole lot different now that I can see well. She said something about her looking worst, but I responded that she was a much cuter girl than I’ll ever be. Then she told me that she didn’t know if she should feel flattered or insulted right then. I laughed and told her that she looked kind of cute, that my best friend agrees and that my dad… I would let her imagine. She said thanks and told me that I was making my dad sound bad, lol. We started rambling about my dad’s evil habits of teasing me about each and every girl I would talk to. I then decided to show her dad’s reaction:

Dad: Wow, nice catch, Maxi!
Max: You're evil…

She laughed and found that sort of cute.

Then, I asked her what was new and she told me that she was very happy to hear that her eyes were stabilized. I told her that I was very happy for her. Then, our discussion shifted on the topic of my eye surgery and I tried to convince her to get one, but she said that she didn’t want to do it. I did not dare insist, but I tried reassuring her saying that a mere ten seconds laser surgery was nothing compared to my ten minutes intra-ocular lens insertion surgery and that risks were quasi-inexistent. She was missing a great chance to correct her astigmatism but I was not going to argue about that. If she wants to do it, she has to take the initiative herself. Only then, will she be ready to do it. Anyhow, I told her that I knew the phone number of the best ophthalmologist in Canada, stationed at Montreal if she ever decided to change her mind. His name is Michel Pop and he developed most of the updated eye surgery technology we use today in all of North America. And if she ever decides to go get a surgery, I will offer to accompany her.

Then we just talked about
Random stuff and eventually, she had to go. I told her to take care of herself and that if she needed to talk, she knew my phone number. We’ve been talking for a while and I knew that the recent events had bothered her; I hoped to had cheered her up a bit and looked at the time and said ¨Well… So much for going to sleep early¨. I couldn’t really get to sleep at all, so I moderated the Tales of Symphonia official forums.

Now that I’m lacking sleep, I am quite irritable, and since someone I know got into an argument with me the morning, I couldn’t chill out as quickly as expected. Well, at least I know that Grace is doing okay, but that was some stress, lol.

- Shadow angel

Now playing: Fire Emblem: The Sealed Sword